








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 4 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
617 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,358 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 346 | 15% |
| Smokes | 618 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 916 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 478 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $239,412 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nero.cpp | 55% | 51 |
| #2 | olev | 55% | 33 |
| #3 | Feronto | 52% | 56 |
| #4 | ◬Pengyzlie | 50% | 12 |
| #5 | ARKAY | 47% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Feronto | 52% | 56 |
| #4 | ◬Pengyzlie | 50% | 12 |
| #5 | ARKAY | 47% | 17 |
| #6 | ludwigQuadriceps | 35% | 26 |
| #7 | ✪Nick KEYDROP | 33% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | olev | 3 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | nero.cpp | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | ludwigQuadriceps | 1 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | ✪Nick KEYDROP | 1 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | olev | 119 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #2 | ARKAY | 55 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #3 | ✪Nick KEYDROP | 54 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #4 | nero.cpp | 51 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | ◬Pengyzlie | 30 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nero.cpp | +5.83 | 90 | 65 |
| #2 | ARKAY | +2.54 | 63 | 56 |
| #3 | olev | +1.73 | 74 | 73 |
| #4 | ludwigQuadriceps | +0.52 | 71 | 63 |
| #5 | Feronto | -0.25 | 71 | 32 |





