








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 491 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September

The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 238 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 84 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4768 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,160 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1522 | 15% |
| Smokes | 2442 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2921 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 3275 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,239,000 of utility $241 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ◬Pengyzlie | 58% | 60 |
| #2 | nero.cpp | 53% | 501 |
| #3 | lê DINKelhüber | 52% | 56 |
| #4 | olev | 50% | 614 |
| #5 | ARKAY | 47% | 81 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | olev | 2171 | 0.18 | 59 min |
| #2 | nero.cpp | 785 | 0.08 | 21 min |
| #3 | Remembot | 327 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #4 | ARKAY | 189 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #5 | ◬Pengyzlie | 140 | 0.12 | 4 min |





