








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 870 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 189 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 77 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3881 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,181 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4395 | 23% |
| Smokes | 6301 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 3573 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 4912 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,468,215 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 316 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ◣ ◢ | 65% | 40 |
| #2 | yeko | 63% | 27 |
| #3 | Allah is Lord | 57% | 75 |
| #4 | KKØNNCOD | 53% | 59 |
| #5 | alex42-iwnl- | 49% | 306 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Allah is Lord | 21 | 0.0137 |
| #2 | alex42-iwnl- | 13 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | KKØNNCOD | 5 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | ◣ ◢ | 3 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | yeko | 2 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ◣ ◢ | +5.06 | 87 | 51 |
| #2 | alex42-iwnl- | +3.28 | 81 | 49 |
| #3 | Allah is Lord | +1.08 | 71 | 61 |
| #4 | d2f | +0.36 | 67 | 58 |
| #5 | Soprano | -0.34 | 64 | 58 |





