








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 352 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 334 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3146 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,960 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 726 | 15% |
| Smokes | 930 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 2135 | 43% |
| Molotovs | 1169 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,538,451 of utility $244 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 267 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Johnny Lawrence | 68% | 31 |
| #2 | Sole survivor | 56% | 50 |
| #3 | The Courier | 53% | 34 |
| #4 | fartman | 52% | 101 |
| #5 | LeBlerc | 50% | 213 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Mazio | 47% | 30 |
| #8 | The Lemon God | 44% | 54 |
| #9 | Sax_Kata | 44% | 64 |
| #10 | Chad Thundercock | 44% | 131 |
| #11 | Pope Benedict XVI | 39% | 72 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LeBlerc | 21 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | elder goose | 8 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | Chad Thundercock | 6 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | fartman | 6 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | Pope Benedict XVI | 6 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LeBlerc | 295 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #2 | elder goose | 224 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #3 | fartman | 145 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | Chad Thundercock | 111 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #5 | Sax_Kata | 81 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Johnny Lawrence | +6.40 | 74 | 37 |
| #2 | fartman | +4.78 | 75 | 47 |
| #3 | Mazio | +3.06 | 74 | 33 |
| #4 | LeBlerc | +2.30 | 57 | 52 |
| #5 | Chad Thundercock | +1.10 | 48 | 42 |





