








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 835 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 310 matches | ||
| Faceit | 118 matches | ||
| Wingman | 26 matches | ||
| Renown | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4560 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,929 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4030 | 24% |
| Smokes | 4686 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 4393 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3820 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,917,038 of utility $169 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 658 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Aake | 43% | 54 |
| #10 | gibliks | 42% | 173 |
| #11 | M1SSE | 42% | 88 |
| #12 | arsee | 39% | 56 |
| #13 | ☮ jusxbxb | 36% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lasso | 10 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | roberto san | 7 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | ✪ AQ | 6 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | kokematon ponkka | 5 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | gibliks | 4 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | roberto san | 941 | 0.27 | 25 min |
| #2 | lasso | 724 | 0.17 | 20 min |
| #3 | ✪ AQ | 436 | 0.16 | 11 min |
| #4 | kokematon ponkka | 260 | 0.03 | 6 min |
| #5 | M1SSE | 249 | 0.13 | 5 min |





