








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
525 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,909 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 242 | 13% |
| Smokes | 503 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 594 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 570 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $191,365 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Daaqueness | 60% | 5 |
| #2 | BampyBapps | 60% | 5 |
| #3 | j4k | 57% | 7 |
| #4 | Ahaqi | 49% | 39 |
| #5 | Retribution | 45% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | j4k | 57% | 7 |
| #4 | Ahaqi | 49% | 39 |
| #5 | Retribution | 45% | 11 |
| #6 | Brawlrr | 44% | 41 |
| #7 | werty1109 | 42% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ahaqi | 4 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | Daaqueness | 1 | 0.0093 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ahaqi | 35 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #2 | Retribution | 16 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #3 | j4k | 10 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #4 | werty1109 | 8 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #5 | Brawlrr | 6 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | j4k | +6.94 | 84 | 52 |
| #2 | Ahaqi | +5.89 | 76 | 54 |
| #3 | Daaqueness | +1.59 | 59 | 40 |
| #4 | werty1109 | +0.43 | 34 | 34 |
| #5 | Retribution | -0.56 | 46 | 41 |





