








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 155 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
917 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,436 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 800 | 33% |
| Smokes | 557 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 454 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 625 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $191,596 of utility $120 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 79 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ninjey | 67% | 9 |
| #2 | toxic machinery | 67% | 12 |
| #3 | awake | 65% | 23 |
| #4 | zaro | 64% | 11 |
| #5 | ryzpo | 64% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | ryzpo | 64% | 11 |
| #6 | nero | 60% | 5 |
| #7 | moquixote | 60% | 5 |
| #8 | ♥Pet Iguana♥ | 58% | 19 |
| #9 | moca | 36% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | awake | 8 | 0.0195 |
| #2 | ryzpo | 5 | 0.0239 |
| #3 | ninjey | 5 | 0.0345 |
| #4 | moquixote | 3 | 0.0306 |
| #5 | moca | 2 | 0.0091 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♥Pet Iguana♥ | 109 | 0.26 | 3 min |
| #2 | awake | 69 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #3 | moca | 64 | 0.29 | 1 min |
| #4 | zaro | 60 | 0.26 | 2 min |
| #5 | ryzpo | 44 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | awake | +2.81 | 86 | 55 |
| #2 | Autumn | +2.54 | 89 | 59 |
| #3 | nero | +0.96 | 88 | 50 |
| #4 | moca | +0.48 | 77 | 64 |
| #5 | toxic machinery | +0.40 | 89 | 39 |





