








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 375 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 72 matches | ||
| Faceit | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Premier | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1432 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,664 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1936 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2645 | 40% |
| HE Grenades | 817 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 1266 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $378,916 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 171 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BILLY | 70% | 10 |
| #2 | Autumn | 64% | 11 |
| #3 | toxic machinery | 56% | 154 |
| #4 | dompa&amex88 | 51% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BILLY | 70% | 10 |
| #2 | Autumn | 64% | 11 |
| #3 | toxic machinery | 56% | 154 |
| #4 | dompa&amex88 | 51% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | toxic machinery | 21 | 0.0068 |
| #2 | dompa&amex88 | 3 | 0.0048 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | toxic machinery | 367 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #2 | Autumn | 49 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| #3 | dompa&amex88 | 28 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | BILLY | 7 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | toxic machinery | +3.23 | 96 | 44 |
| #2 | BILLY | +2.73 | 72 | 67 |
| #3 | Autumn | +1.77 | 90 | 63 |
| #4 | zaro | -0.08 | 47 | 66 |
| #5 | dompa&amex88 | -1.85 | 82 | 27 |





