








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 503 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 341 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 44 matches | ||
| Wingman | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 23 different maps





Our logs show 46 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4256 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,158 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2304 | 13% |
| Smokes | 6784 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 4376 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 4694 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,275,108 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 252 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jesus Trump | 50% | 245 |
| #2 | Crystal | 50% | 54 |
| #3 | Pepper | 48% | 155 |
| #4 | Ber0 | 46% | 115 |
| #5 | CelusTotalus | 46% | 176 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Pepper | 48% | 155 |
| #4 | Ber0 | 46% | 115 |
| #5 | CelusTotalus | 46% | 176 |
| #6 | zlyfer | 45% | 47 |
| #7 | GaiusTotalus | 43% | 129 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pepper | 4 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | GaiusTotalus | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | Jesus Trump | 3 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | Crystal | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | CelusTotalus | 1 | 0.0003 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ber0 | 459 | 0.18 | 15 min |
| #2 | Jesus Trump | 337 | 0.07 | 10 min |
| #3 | Pepper | 103 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| #4 | GaiusTotalus | 100 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #5 | Crystal | 79 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Crystal | +1.94 | 65 | 63 |
| #2 | Pepper | +1.82 | 66 | 45 |
| #3 | Flashrex | +0.37 | 59 | 55 |
| #4 | Ber0 | +0.37 | 51 | 69 |
| #5 | Jesus Trump | -0.12 | 62 | 54 |





