








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 933 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 29 matches | ||
| Premier | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 24 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2314 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,589 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1317 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1931 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 1143 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1198 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,141,905 of utility $214 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1477 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fanar | 65% | 23 |
| #2 | strive | 57% | 37 |
| #3 | Gooch | 53% | 45 |
| #4 | Tidaled | 52% | 102 |
| #5 | GUH??? | 52% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | strive | 11 | 0.0169 |
| #2 | krusty | 6 | 0.0056 |
| #3 | Tidaled | 5 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | Gooch | 4 | 0.0047 |
| #5 | GUH??? | 3 | 0.0052 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tidaled | 331 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #2 | krusty | 129 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #3 | strive | 113 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #4 | GUH??? | 100 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #5 | Fanar | 65 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | strive | +4.42 | 77 | 61 |
| #2 | Tidaled | +2.55 | 80 | 61 |
| #3 | Cup Going Tornado Mode | +1.58 | 73 | 55 |
| #4 | GUH??? | +1.07 | 56 | 55 |
| #5 | Cook | -0.84 | 49 | 45 |





