








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 180 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Premier | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
761 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,647 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1308 | 36% |
| Smokes | 762 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 840 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 737 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $404,984 of utility $180 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 218 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kelp | 100% | 6 |
| #2 | Heneii | 60% | 10 |
| #3 | sax0n | 56% | 9 |
| #4 | Chrox | 50% | 14 |
| #5 | kodaz1y | 45% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Chrox | 50% | 14 |
| #5 | kodaz1y | 45% | 53 |
| #6 | haluciniram | 41% | 17 |
| #7 | Chaos | 37% | 57 |
| #8 | foosion | 35% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chaos | 5 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | Chrox | 4 | 0.0142 |
| #3 | haluciniram | 3 | 0.0086 |
| #4 | sax0n | 3 | 0.0164 |
| #5 | kodaz1y | 2 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kodaz1y | 202 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #2 | Chaos | 172 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #3 | Chrox | 62 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| #4 | Heneii | 35 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #5 | kelp | 27 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chrox | +4.11 | 89 | 68 |
| #2 | sax0n | +2.37 | 82 | 56 |
| #3 | kodaz1y | +2.23 | 77 | 65 |
| #4 | kelp | +0.54 | 81 | 79 |
| #5 | haluciniram | -0.89 | 48 | 22 |





