








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1081 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 479 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4358 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,323 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3844 | 34% |
| Smokes | 3452 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1864 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 2163 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,475,160 of utility $197 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 265 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Heems | 68% | 37 |
| #2 | ✪ Nero. | 54% | 128 |
| #3 | TBE Martin | 54% | 108 |
| #4 | Tywaaa | 53% | 59 |
| #5 | Duh Homie | 51% | 492 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Duh Homie | 39 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | CinderELLY | 22 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | ✪ Nero. | 7 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | Heems | 3 | 0.0042 |
| #5 | TBE Martin | 2 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Heems | +3.14 | 81 | 51 |
| #2 | ✪ Nero. | +2.39 | 86 | 63 |
| #3 | Duh Homie | +0.99 | 56 | 45 |
| #4 | damp_jacket | +0.41 | 52 | 47 |
| #5 | TBE Martin | -0.28 | 55 | 31 |





