








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 221 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3395 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,741 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1389 | 14% |
| Smokes | 2697 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2771 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2884 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $918,960 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 99 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Duh Homie | 70% | 74 |
| #2 | Wads | 70% | 73 |
| #3 | damp_jacket | 68% | 37 |
| #4 | Indica | 65% | 148 |
| #5 | CinderELLY | 64% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Indica | 31 | 0.0108 |
| #2 | Magnus | 21 | 0.0253 |
| #3 | Wads | 19 | 0.0133 |
| #4 | CinderELLY | 8 | 0.0059 |
| #5 | Duh Homie | 7 | 0.0050 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Indica | 391 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #2 | Wads | 194 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #3 | Duh Homie | 74 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #4 | CinderELLY | 56 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | Magnus | 43 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Indica | +5.25 | 73 | 62 |
| #2 | Heems | +3.15 | 79 | 47 |
| #3 | Wads | +1.93 | 81 | 66 |
| #4 | Duh Homie | +0.91 | 60 | 41 |
| #5 | damp_jacket | +0.65 | 55 | 38 |





