








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 83 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1845 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,070 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1837 | 36% |
| Smokes | 674 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 1477 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1082 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $94,483 of utility $31 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 71 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | unpause- | 56% | 89 |
| #4 | wagiman | 56% | 73 |
| #5 | Zeon | 56% | 59 |
| #6 | Setch | 55% | 60 |
| #7 | Zaster | 48% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | unpause- | 32 | 0.0177 |
| #2 | Kracken | 24 | 0.0118 |
| #3 | wagiman | 15 | 0.0103 |
| #4 | Zeon | 12 | 0.0103 |
| #5 | Setch | 6 | 0.0051 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kracken | 378 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #2 | unpause- | 377 | 0.21 | 9 min |
| #3 | Zeon | 233 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| #4 | Setch | 202 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #5 | wagiman | 132 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | unpause- | +3.56 | 82 | 66 |
| #2 | Kracken | +2.03 | 85 | 53 |
| #3 | Sn1per | +1.50 | 54 | 59 |
| #4 | Zeon | +0.91 | 63 | 57 |
| #5 | wagiman | -2.27 | 37 | 51 |





