








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 225 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 33 matches | ||
| Faceit | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 22 matches | ||
| Premier | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1398 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,163 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2186 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2254 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 981 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 1742 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $726,642 of utility $131 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 44 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sn1per | 55% | 60 |
| #2 | Sn2perF | 53% | 17 |
| #3 | unpause- | 51% | 216 |
| #4 | Zeon | 49% | 179 |
| #5 | Kracken | 46% | 170 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | unpause- | 47 | 0.0106 |
| #2 | Kracken | 44 | 0.0129 |
| #3 | Zeon | 25 | 0.0068 |
| #4 | wagiman | 20 | 0.0112 |
| #5 | Sn1per | 10 | 0.0084 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | unpause- | 940 | 0.21 | 26 min |
| #2 | Zeon | 849 | 0.23 | 25 min |
| #3 | Kracken | 673 | 0.20 | 18 min |
| #4 | Zaster | 266 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #5 | Sn1per | 204 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | unpause- | +4.63 | 82 | 69 |
| #2 | Kracken | +3.07 | 83 | 57 |
| #3 | Zeon | +1.86 | 66 | 66 |
| #4 | Sn1per | +1.77 | 54 | 59 |
| #5 | Sn2perF | +1.77 | 57 | 55 |





