








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 50 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 117 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2430 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,640 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2065 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1897 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1111 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 1567 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $927,023 of utility $175 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 165 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nathan | 56% | 34 |
| #2 | joeiff ツ | 55% | 51 |
| #3 | noto | 54% | 59 |
| #4 | blz | 54% | 13 |
| #5 | toksik | 50% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | noto | 54% | 59 |
| #4 | blz | 54% | 13 |
| #5 | toksik | 50% | 16 |
| #6 | rona | 50% | 44 |
| #7 | val | 49% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | noto | 5 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | val | 5 | 0.0069 |
| #3 | Nathan | 5 | 0.0070 |
| #4 | rona | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | toksik | 2 | 0.0062 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | noto | 315 | 0.28 | 7 min |
| #2 | rona | 184 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #3 | joeiff ツ | 182 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #4 | val | 93 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #5 | Nathan | 72 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | noto | +1.92 | 79 | 57 |
| #2 | rona | +1.53 | 82 | 57 |
| #3 | Nathan | +0.40 | 62 | 74 |
| #4 | joeiff ツ | +0.18 | 73 | 68 |
| #5 | val | +0.06 | 85 | 57 |





