








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 782 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 301 matches | ||
| Faceit | 127 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8389 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,811 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9041 | 43% |
| Smokes | 4607 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 3265 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 3898 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,373,823 of utility $102 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 118 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | val | 21 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | Captain | 13 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | joeiff ツ | 6 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | DR | 6 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | Lindquist | 6 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | noto | 842 | 0.26 | 19 min |
| #2 | Captain | 709 | 0.15 | 18 min |
| #3 | val | 593 | 0.10 | 14 min |
| #4 | DR | 478 | 0.24 | 12 min |
| #5 | joeiff ツ | 473 | 0.17 | 15 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rona | +2.31 | 83 | 59 |
| #2 | ohai | +1.50 | 88 | 57 |
| #3 | ur fkn pop | +1.43 | 88 | 71 |
| #4 | the forensic evidence | +1.37 | 78 | 52 |
| #5 | noto | +1.07 | 82 | 57 |





