








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1149 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 261 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 58 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




62 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2466 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,887 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1567 | 27% |
| Smokes | 895 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 2087 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 1338 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,226,801 of utility $199 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 317 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MÖMMÖ_MÖRSI | 52% | 61 |
| #2 | MÖMMÖ_MÖRSIV3 | 50% | 24 |
| #3 | Bardcore | 49% | 115 |
| #4 | MÖMMÖ_MÖRSIV2 | 46% | 50 |
| #5 | MÖMMÖ_MÖRSIV4 | 46% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | MÖMMÖ_MÖRSIV3 | 50% | 24 |
| #3 | Bardcore | 49% | 115 |
| #4 | MÖMMÖ_MÖRSIV2 | 46% | 50 |
| #5 | MÖMMÖ_MÖRSIV4 | 46% | 24 |
| #6 | LorttoNyymi | 44% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MÖMMÖ_MÖRSI | 25 | 0.0205 |
| #2 | MÖMMÖ_MÖRSIV2 | 23 | 0.0237 |
| #3 | MÖMMÖ_MÖRSIV3 | 16 | 0.0370 |
| #4 | MÖMMÖ_MÖRSIV4 | 14 | 0.0320 |
| #5 | LorttoNyymi | 11 | 0.0100 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bardcore | 226 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #2 | MÖMMÖ_MÖRSIV2 | 226 | 0.23 | 4 min |
| #3 | MÖMMÖ_MÖRSI | 209 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #4 | MÖMMÖ_MÖRSIV3 | 144 | 0.33 | 1 min |
| #5 | MÖMMÖ_MÖRSIV4 | 86 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MÖMMÖ_MÖRSIV3 | +2.58 | 46 | 50 |
| #2 | MÖMMÖ_MÖRSIV4 | +1.07 | 50 | 43 |
| #3 | Mr.Gibbler | +1.01 | 61 | 33 |
| #4 | MÖMMÖ_MÖRSI | +0.89 | 53 | 47 |
| #5 | MÖMMÖ_MÖRSIV2 | +0.85 | 50 | 46 |





