








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 431 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 339 matches | ||
| Faceit | 125 matches | ||
| Wingman | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5761 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,482 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6579 | 36% |
| Smokes | 4608 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3853 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 3442 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,224,053 of utility $102 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1433 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Teddy Westside | 70% | 53 |
| #2 | kb | 67% | 36 |
| #3 | Skeggs | 58% | 331 |
| #4 | Geoff | 57% | 30 |
| #5 | hyperia | 51% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Teddy Westside | 70% | 53 |
| #2 | kb | 67% | 36 |
| #3 | Skeggs | 58% | 331 |
| #4 | Geoff | 57% | 30 |
| #5 | hyperia | 51% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Skeggs | 8 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | hyperia | 5 | 0.0069 |
| #3 | kb | 3 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | Geoff | 3 | 0.0050 |
| #5 | Teddy Westside | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Skeggs | 788 | 0.12 | 21 min |
| #2 | Teddy Westside | 249 | 0.21 | 7 min |
| #3 | Geoff | 153 | 0.26 | 5 min |
| #4 | kb | 62 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | hyperia | 49 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kb | +2.19 | 89 | 57 |
| #2 | Geoff | +1.51 | 81 | 72 |
| #3 | hyperia | +1.35 | 90 | 46 |
| #4 | XaosV2 ツ | +1.33 | 83 | 61 |
| #5 | Teddy Westside | +1.29 | 68 | 79 |





