








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 116 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 244 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 63 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1957 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,614 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 943 | 20% |
| Smokes | 511 | 11% |
| HE Grenades | 1977 | 43% |
| Molotovs | 1183 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $314,901 of utility $48 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 751 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ageing Persuasion | 44% | 70 |
| #2 | Bason Jourme | 43% | 143 |
| #3 | GothFemboy (Ow\\\) | 43% | 154 |
| #4 | Waldorf | 43% | 40 |
| #5 | xgatt0manx | 41% | 133 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | GothFemboy (Ow\\\) | 43% | 154 |
| #4 | Waldorf | 43% | 40 |
| #5 | xgatt0manx | 41% | 133 |
| #6 | NICHOMP | 41% | 112 |
| #7 | ST Loaf | 41% | 127 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bason Jourme | 36 | 0.0120 |
| #2 | GothFemboy (Ow\\\) | 30 | 0.0094 |
| #3 | NICHOMP | 27 | 0.0116 |
| #4 | Ageing Persuasion | 23 | 0.0154 |
| #5 | xgatt0manx | 17 | 0.0061 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GothFemboy (Ow\\\) | 612 | 0.19 | 12 min |
| #2 | xgatt0manx | 331 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #3 | NICHOMP | 322 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #4 | Ageing Persuasion | 200 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #5 | ST Loaf | 112 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Waldorf | +1.82 | 44 | 48 |
| #2 | RyanM | +1.13 | 51 | 31 |
| #3 | ST Loaf | -0.04 | 52 | 41 |
| #4 | GothFemboy (Ow\\\) | -0.11 | 27 | 41 |
| #5 | Ageing Persuasion | -0.21 | 39 | 42 |





