








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 189 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 196 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 47 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1804 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,538 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1678 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1316 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1513 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1031 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $560,700 of utility $94 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 99 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bason Jourme | 71% | 31 |
| #2 | GothFemboy (Ow\\\) | 52% | 50 |
| #3 | NICHOMP | 52% | 29 |
| #4 | Ageing Persuasion | 52% | 29 |
| #5 | Waldorf | 44% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Waldorf | 44% | 61 |
| #6 | ST Loaf | 44% | 139 |
| #7 | RyanM | 41% | 133 |
| #8 | Camfu22 | 32% | 19 |
| #9 | KRidiK Aspect | 19% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Waldorf | 12 | 0.0097 |
| #2 | RyanM | 11 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | GothFemboy (Ow\\\) | 11 | 0.0107 |
| #4 | Ageing Persuasion | 10 | 0.0165 |
| #5 | Bason Jourme | 7 | 0.0109 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GothFemboy (Ow\\\) | 210 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #2 | NICHOMP | 129 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #3 | RyanM | 121 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #4 | ST Loaf | 97 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #5 | Waldorf | 89 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KRidiK Aspect | +2.19 | 54 | 54 |
| #2 | Waldorf | +1.23 | 45 | 50 |
| #3 | GothFemboy (Ow\\\) | +1.15 | 26 | 47 |
| #4 | RyanM | +0.75 | 53 | 31 |
| #5 | ST Loaf | +0.44 | 56 | 40 |





