








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 225 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 118 matches | ||
| Faceit | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2413 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,668 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2265 | 34% |
| Smokes | 1656 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1422 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1325 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $602,250 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 199 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 13levi37 | 71% | 34 |
| #2 | LURK | 60% | 20 |
| #3 | Loaf | 53% | 19 |
| #4 | SEVRR | 48% | 21 |
| #5 | Synergy | 46% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | LURK | 60% | 20 |
| #3 | Loaf | 53% | 19 |
| #4 | SEVRR | 48% | 21 |
| #5 | Synergy | 46% | 56 |
| #6 | ♿Dem3nt1a♿ | 40% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Loaf | 9 | 0.0252 |
| #2 | Synergy | 6 | 0.0052 |
| #3 | LURK | 4 | 0.0101 |
| #4 | 13levi37 | 2 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | SEVRR | 1 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 13levi37 | 178 | 0.25 | 5 min |
| #2 | Synergy | 137 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #3 | LURK | 88 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| #4 | SEVRR | 43 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | Loaf | 42 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lost ̷<̷3̷ | +1.83 | 85 | 54 |
| #2 | Synergy | +1.27 | 87 | 49 |
| #3 | SEVRR | +0.92 | 70 | 62 |
| #4 | LURK | +0.36 | 70 | 46 |
| #5 | Loaf | +0.30 | 67 | 30 |





