








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 130 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




188 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3304 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,561 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1940 | 54% |
| Smokes | 495 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 405 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 721 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $254,813 of utility $42 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 229 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LURK | 61% | 28 |
| #2 | My Weenor Big | 54% | 156 |
| #3 | lost ̷<̷3̷ | 53% | 19 |
| #4 | ALFARU | 52% | 77 |
| #5 | 13levi37 | 49% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | My Weenor Big | 29 | 0.0099 |
| #2 | lilOnion | 18 | 0.0136 |
| #3 | YVEN | 10 | 0.0275 |
| #4 | LURK | 6 | 0.0109 |
| #5 | 13levi37 | 3 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lilOnion | 260 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| #2 | 13levi37 | 199 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #3 | ALFARU | 118 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | SEVRR | 73 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | lost ̷<̷3̷ | 60 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Loaf | +4.19 | 84 | 40 |
| #2 | ALFARU | +2.12 | 68 | 48 |
| #3 | 13levi37 | +2.06 | 64 | 60 |
| #4 | SEVRR | +1.77 | 67 | 60 |
| #5 | lost ̷<̷3̷ | -1.12 | 65 | 54 |





