








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 355 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 246 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2732 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,901 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2345 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2785 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2423 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2348 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $797,953 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 167 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | COMMA | 48% | 188 |
| #2 | Glase OwO | 48% | 174 |
| #3 | Sum Ting Wong | 46% | 138 |
| #4 | HolyMoly | 45% | 108 |
| #5 | caileen | 45% | 203 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Glase OwO | 48% | 174 |
| #3 | Sum Ting Wong | 46% | 138 |
| #4 | HolyMoly | 45% | 108 |
| #5 | caileen | 45% | 203 |
| #6 | Pai | 42% | 106 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Glase OwO | 10 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | caileen | 7 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | COMMA | 7 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Pai | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | Sum Ting Wong | 1 | 0.0003 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | caileen | 628 | 0.14 | 17 min |
| #2 | COMMA | 519 | 0.13 | 12 min |
| #3 | HolyMoly | 368 | 0.16 | 10 min |
| #4 | Pai | 293 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #5 | Sum Ting Wong | 273 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | caileen | +1.93 | 78 | 57 |
| #2 | HolyMoly | +0.75 | 82 | 58 |
| #3 | Glase OwO | +0.43 | 68 | 52 |
| #4 | Myst 雨 | -0.26 | 72 | 55 |
| #5 | COMMA | -0.67 | 66 | 50 |





