








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1455 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 436 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 124 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 118 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 115 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 111 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 23 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 6 matches | ||
| Esplay | 2 matches | 1,741 | |
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 124 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
14147 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,723 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5241 | 19% |
| Smokes | 9193 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 7347 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 5942 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,865,731 of utility $193 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 353 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GeXxO^ | 1010 | 0.17 | 27 min |
| #2 | ✪ Bosen | 615 | 0.12 | 15 min |
| #3 | Zadde | 432 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #4 | tjackat | 394 | 0.11 | 14 min |
| #5 | 익명 | 384 | 0.04 | 5 min |





