








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 642 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 824 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 85 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7239 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 30,645 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8447 | 28% |
| Smokes | 5272 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 8769 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 8157 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,398,949 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1055 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | emiliano | 48% | 196 |
| #10 | Silvertejp | 48% | 165 |
| #11 | patrik | 48% | 130 |
| #12 | Zadde | 42% | 48 |
| #13 | BennyBastu | 41% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Bosen | 18 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | Cayrine/non-binary/femboy | 10 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | ChoFlojT | 6 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | GeXxO^ | 5 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | Silvertejp | 5 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Bosen | 1944 | 0.11 | 48 min |
| #2 | GeXxO^ | 868 | 0.18 | 25 min |
| #3 | Cayrine/non-binary/femboy | 816 | 0.24 | 27 min |
| #4 | ChoFlojT | 485 | 0.14 | 13 min |
| #5 | Silvertejp | 454 | 0.13 | 14 min |





