








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 683 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 428 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5722 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,581 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3017 | 26% |
| Smokes | 3405 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3405 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1754 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,474,201 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 208 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | toy yoda | 54% | 139 |
| #2 | Outerspace Pizza | 51% | 92 |
| #3 | Subaroo | 51% | 454 |
| #4 | MeteoR | 45% | 105 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | toy yoda | 54% | 139 |
| #2 | Outerspace Pizza | 51% | 92 |
| #3 | Subaroo | 51% | 454 |
| #4 | MeteoR | 45% | 105 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Subaroo | 10 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | Outerspace Pizza | 9 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | toy yoda | 6 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | MeteoR | 3 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Subaroo | 660 | 0.07 | 19 min |
| #2 | toy yoda | 451 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #3 | Outerspace Pizza | 321 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #4 | MeteoR | 179 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ﻨ×νﻨ. | +1.35 | 79 | 59 |
| #2 | toy yoda | +1.06 | 50 | 60 |
| #3 | MeteoR | +0.99 | 70 | 66 |
| #4 | Outerspace Pizza | +0.65 | 70 | 65 |
| #5 | Subaroo | -0.82 | 49 | 54 |





