








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 687 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 624 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 76 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5712 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,030 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3214 | 23% |
| Smokes | 3603 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4617 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 2596 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,264,146 of utility $227 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 466 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ﻨ×νﻨ. | 51% | 454 |
| #2 | toy yoda | 49% | 225 |
| #3 | Outerspace Pizza | 48% | 146 |
| #4 | MeteoR | 46% | 181 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ﻨ×νﻨ. | 51% | 454 |
| #2 | toy yoda | 49% | 225 |
| #3 | Outerspace Pizza | 48% | 146 |
| #4 | MeteoR | 46% | 181 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ﻨ×νﻨ. | 17 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | toy yoda | 15 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | Outerspace Pizza | 14 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | MeteoR | 5 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ﻨ×νﻨ. | 928 | 0.09 | 24 min |
| #2 | toy yoda | 701 | 0.15 | 16 min |
| #3 | Outerspace Pizza | 548 | 0.17 | 14 min |
| #4 | MeteoR | 292 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ﻨ×νﻨ. | +1.35 | 79 | 59 |
| #2 | toy yoda | +0.90 | 51 | 61 |
| #3 | MeteoR | +0.86 | 70 | 63 |
| #4 | Outerspace Pizza | +0.68 | 70 | 65 |
| #5 | Subaroo | -0.77 | 48 | 53 |





