








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 778 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 340 matches | ||
| Premier | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1843 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,663 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1009 | 28% |
| Smokes | 773 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 879 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1002 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $569,426 of utility $83 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cracked 5 | 48% | 27 |
| #2 | Penguinz | 41% | 427 |
| #3 | BOT Cummy | 39% | 28 |
| #4 | IM jay | 39% | 23 |
| #5 | John Pork | 33% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Penguinz | 41% | 427 |
| #3 | BOT Cummy | 39% | 28 |
| #4 | IM jay | 39% | 23 |
| #5 | John Pork | 33% | 24 |
| #6 | Jaffino | 30% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cracked 5 | 8 | 0.0131 |
| #2 | John Pork | 6 | 0.0116 |
| #3 | IM jay | 5 | 0.0098 |
| #4 | Penguinz | 4 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | BOT Cummy | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Penguinz | 709 | 0.11 | 18 min |
| #2 | Cracked 5 | 202 | 0.33 | 7 min |
| #3 | IM jay | 156 | 0.30 | 4 min |
| #4 | BOT Cummy | 155 | 0.26 | 6 min |
| #5 | John Pork | 117 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cracked 5 | +4.26 | 64 | 76 |
| #2 | Penguinz | +1.83 | 26 | 59 |
| #3 | BOT Cummy | +1.44 | 53 | 68 |
| #4 | John Pork | -0.14 | 32 | 69 |
| #5 | IM jay | -1.83 | 25 | 56 |





