








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 19 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Premier | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
600 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,052 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 100 | 10% |
| Smokes | 24 | 2% |
| HE Grenades | 497 | 47% |
| Molotovs | 431 | 41% |
Our logs show you have wasted $151,079 of utility $62 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Painkiller | 63% | 8 |
| #2 | boosh | 38% | 26 |
| #3 | Lobotomy Victim | 38% | 29 |
| #4 | R9 | 37% | 49 |
| #5 | Brian | 35% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✠ N1ghtmare ✠ | 73 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #2 | Lukazoid | 73 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #3 | Lobotomy Victim | 54 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | R9 | 52 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | Brian | 35 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✠ N1ghtmare ✠ | +3.34 | 86 | 55 |
| #2 | R9 | +0.92 | 47 | 43 |
| #3 | Brian | +0.78 | 61 | 37 |
| #4 | Lukazoid | +0.56 | 59 | 24 |
| #5 | keyring | -1.21 | 46 | 23 |





