








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 408 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 287 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 58 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4323 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,976 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4266 | 36% |
| Smokes | 2346 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 2511 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2853 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $969,209 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 514 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Andy | 49% | 246 |
| #2 | JoJo ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | 48% | 60 |
| #3 | bambam | 48% | 27 |
| #4 | Kioguixs ; | 48% | 81 |
| #5 | ColtCalle | 46% | 181 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | bambam | 48% | 27 |
| #4 | Kioguixs ; | 48% | 81 |
| #5 | ColtCalle | 46% | 181 |
| #6 | MmmMushrooms | 46% | 166 |
| #7 | IPaRaNoMaL | 39% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Andy | 3 | 0.0006 |
| #2 | IPaRaNoMaL | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | JoJo ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | MmmMushrooms | 2 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | Kioguixs ; | 2 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Andy | 507 | 0.10 | 16 min |
| #2 | ColtCalle | 236 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| #3 | JoJo ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | 174 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #4 | IPaRaNoMaL | 147 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #5 | bambam | 107 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Complex | +2.35 | 81 | 66 |
| #2 | MmmMushrooms | +0.88 | 74 | 43 |
| #3 | bambam | -0.68 | 59 | 74 |
| #4 | ColtCalle | -1.08 | 73 | 57 |
| #5 | Andy | -1.28 | 53 | 67 |





