








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 889 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 794 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8605 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,926 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1557 | 12% |
| Smokes | 2680 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 4666 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 4023 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,451,695 of utility $79 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 379 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bambam | 51% | 120 |
| #2 | Andy | 48% | 634 |
| #3 | ColtCalle | 48% | 339 |
| #4 | IPaRaNoMaL | 47% | 129 |
| #5 | JoJo ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | 47% | 217 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | JoJo ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | 47% | 217 |
| #6 | Kioguixs ; | 46% | 208 |
| #7 | Complex | 46% | 166 |
| #8 | FatsoT | 42% | 60 |
| #9 | GOLI | 37% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Andy | 18 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | JoJo ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | 12 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | ColtCalle | 10 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Complex | 6 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | bambam | 6 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Andy | 1373 | 0.10 | 36 min |
| #2 | JoJo ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | 621 | 0.13 | 14 min |
| #3 | bambam | 515 | 0.20 | 14 min |
| #4 | Complex | 485 | 0.14 | 13 min |
| #5 | ColtCalle | 449 | 0.06 | 13 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Complex | +2.15 | 80 | 67 |
| #2 | GOLI | +1.79 | 79 | 68 |
| #3 | MmmMushrooms | +1.02 | 71 | 42 |
| #4 | ColtCalle | -0.48 | 74 | 56 |
| #5 | Andy | -0.90 | 52 | 66 |





