








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 27 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 93 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1477 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,899 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1605 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1434 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 2301 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 1559 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $442,780 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 10 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HaZeExE | 55% | 20 |
| #2 | FaZe Up | 52% | 23 |
| #3 | Stabby crab | 49% | 37 |
| #4 | MegaGamer420 | 48% | 155 |
| #5 | Zero | 48% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Tea | 44% | 116 |
| #8 | Reece | 42% | 31 |
| #9 | Coffee | 41% | 32 |
| #10 | FISH♿ | 40% | 25 |
| #11 | ScreamingVox | 32% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MegaGamer420 | 17 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | Tea | 11 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | FISH♿ | 6 | 0.0112 |
| #4 | Jenbob | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | Zero | 2 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MegaGamer420 | 171 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #2 | Zero | 127 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #3 | Stabby crab | 84 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | Tea | 79 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| #5 | Jenbob | 69 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HaZeExE | +4.53 | 71 | 72 |
| #2 | Stabby crab | +3.47 | 72 | 63 |
| #3 | FISH♿ | +2.92 | 68 | 57 |
| #4 | FaZe Up | +2.58 | 53 | 64 |
| #5 | Zero | +2.55 | 62 | 71 |





