








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 146 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 38 matches | ||
| Faceit | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1080 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,851 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2085 | 36% |
| Smokes | 1574 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 757 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 1435 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $466,732 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 17 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xetherato ツ | 14 | 0.0219 |
| #2 | Blaze | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | zoinks⬆ | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | YouM3 | 3 | 0.0070 |
| #5 | ReTr00 | 2 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blaze | 684 | 0.24 | 18 min |
| #2 | zoinks⬆ | 153 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #3 | Xetherato ツ | 125 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #4 | klon | 124 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #5 | YouM3 | 104 | 0.24 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xetherato ツ | +4.32 | 75 | 60 |
| #2 | kas ♥ [s] | +2.94 | 87 | 51 |
| #3 | Blaze | +2.68 | 67 | 69 |
| #4 | YouM3 | +1.33 | 70 | 66 |
| #5 | klon | +1.26 | 83 | 60 |





