








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 243 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Premier | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
611 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 785 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 152 | 19% |
| Smokes | 271 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 147 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 215 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $259,910 of utility $253 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 28 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Trem | 69% | 13 |
| #2 | Pongle | 64% | 14 |
| #3 | CBC Danny C | 53% | 32 |
| #4 | h4 | 53% | 36 |
| #5 | NiceTri_Spud | 42% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Trem | 69% | 13 |
| #2 | Pongle | 64% | 14 |
| #3 | CBC Danny C | 53% | 32 |
| #4 | h4 | 53% | 36 |
| #5 | NiceTri_Spud | 42% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | h4 | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | CBC Danny C | 1 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | Pongle | 1 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | Trem | 1 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | h4 | 109 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #2 | Trem | 68 | 0.27 | 1 min |
| #3 | CBC Danny C | 59 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | NiceTri_Spud | 37 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | Pongle | 17 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | h4 | +2.16 | 84 | 65 |
| #2 | Trem | +2.09 | 75 | 53 |
| #3 | NiceTri_Spud | +1.80 | 82 | 52 |
| #4 | rapich | +0.88 | 88 | 44 |
| #5 | CBC Danny C | -1.61 | 48 | 55 |





