








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 158 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 107 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1351 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,393 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1297 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1041 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1317 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 738 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $522,222 of utility $132 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 138 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ahaddadab | 69% | 16 |
| #2 | Asimenio | 60% | 10 |
| #3 | AmaBuri Moffle | 55% | 148 |
| #4 | The Ron Baker of Dota 2 | 50% | 20 |
| #5 | Snailpo | 47% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AmaBuri Moffle | 21 | 0.0070 |
| #2 | The Ron Baker of Dota 2 | 5 | 0.0124 |
| #3 | Snailpo | 4 | 0.0052 |
| #4 | Matt "Drinkwater" Bevilaqua | 3 | 0.0053 |
| #5 | ahaddadab | 1 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AmaBuri Moffle | 454 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #2 | Snailpo | 117 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #3 | The Ron Baker of Dota 2 | 113 | 0.28 | 3 min |
| #4 | Matt "Drinkwater" Bevilaqua | 25 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | Asimenio | 25 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Asimenio | +5.66 | 83 | 27 |
| #2 | The Ron Baker of Dota 2 | +3.72 | 71 | 58 |
| #3 | AmaBuri Moffle | +1.09 | 60 | 47 |
| #4 | 3STAN | -0.34 | 42 | 46 |
| #5 | ahaddadab | -1.59 | 64 | 11 |





