








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 10 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Agency | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Premier | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1648 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,079 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 608 | 20% |
| Smokes | 484 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 1178 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 809 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $356,346 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | kai | 80% | 10 |
| #4 | Marty | 78% | 116 |
| #5 | Tehredfox | 77% | 22 |
| #6 | Lambo | 76% | 133 |
| #7 | ttv/lurrrkr | 66% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lambo | 13 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | ttv/lurrrkr | 5 | 0.0062 |
| #3 | Marty | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Tehredfox | 2 | 0.0047 |
| #5 | visual | 2 | 0.0098 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lambo | 409 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #2 | Marty | 179 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #3 | ttv/lurrrkr | 168 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #4 | kai | 40 | 0.20 | 0 min |
| #5 | Tehredfox | 38 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lambo | +3.03 | 76 | 55 |
| #2 | Marty | +2.56 | 63 | 55 |
| #3 | visual | +2.16 | 83 | 15 |
| #4 | yslgootscrap | +1.45 | 75 | 45 |
| #5 | Tehredfox | +1.38 | 80 | 50 |





