








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 695 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 465 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 147 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 97 matches | ||
| Faceit | 51 matches | ||
| Wingman | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 62 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




45 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7234 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,057 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6389 | 25% |
| Smokes | 8783 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 5560 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 5325 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,784,681 of utility $157 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 284 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yslgootscrap | 78% | 116 |
| #2 | Tehredfox | 65% | 188 |
| #3 | Lambo | 63% | 531 |
| #4 | TM | 59% | 150 |
| #5 | SexyAssBakedPotato | 58% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yslgootscrap | 78% | 116 |
| #2 | Tehredfox | 65% | 188 |
| #3 | Lambo | 63% | 531 |
| #4 | TM | 59% | 150 |
| #5 | SexyAssBakedPotato | 58% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lambo | 46 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | yslgootscrap | 12 | 0.0054 |
| #3 | SexyAssBakedPotato | 9 | 0.0087 |
| #4 | TM | 5 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | Tehredfox | 4 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lambo | 1655 | 0.16 | 42 min |
| #2 | Tehredfox | 389 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #3 | TM | 261 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #4 | SexyAssBakedPotato | 201 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #5 | yslgootscrap | 113 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TM | +2.55 | 83 | 65 |
| #2 | Lambo | +2.29 | 76 | 59 |
| #3 | yslgootscrap | +1.77 | 77 | 43 |
| #4 | Marty | +1.37 | 66 | 61 |
| #5 | Tehredfox | +0.50 | 82 | 61 |





