








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 45 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 200 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2347 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,514 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1287 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1187 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2564 | 46% |
| Molotovs | 476 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $541,341 of utility $101 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jonk | 69% | 32 |
| #2 | KLB | 65% | 17 |
| #3 | Infin8ty | 61% | 49 |
| #4 | Joe the Villager | 53% | 62 |
| #5 | Zapp! | 53% | 153 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jonk | 69% | 32 |
| #2 | KLB | 65% | 17 |
| #3 | Infin8ty | 61% | 49 |
| #4 | Joe the Villager | 53% | 62 |
| #5 | Zapp! | 53% | 153 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zapp! | 10 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | Joe the Villager | 5 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | Infin8ty | 4 | 0.0038 |
| #4 | Jonk | 2 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | KLB | 1 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Infin8ty | 233 | 0.22 | 5 min |
| #2 | Joe the Villager | 177 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #3 | Zapp! | 162 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #4 | Jonk | 136 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #5 | KLB | 50 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KLB | +2.22 | 77 | 68 |
| #2 | Joe the Villager | +1.79 | 68 | 50 |
| #3 | Zapp! | +0.72 | 46 | 45 |
| #4 | Doolphin | +0.60 | 78 | 49 |
| #5 | Jonk | +0.07 | 55 | 61 |





