








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 177 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 391 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3047 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,903 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5482 | 31% |
| Smokes | 4569 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3093 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 4759 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $763,379 of utility $82 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 276 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Forman ツ | 56% | 66 |
| #2 | ssjla | 52% | 79 |
| #3 | unc | 51% | 73 |
| #4 | MightyBrighty | 50% | 195 |
| #5 | kodokushi ☁ | 48% | 229 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | MightyBrighty | 50% | 195 |
| #5 | kodokushi ☁ | 48% | 229 |
| #6 | Beejay Simpson | 46% | 137 |
| #7 | NotTheRealAsianVenom | 44% | 131 |
| #8 | BigT | 38% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kodokushi ☁ | 15 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | MightyBrighty | 7 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | NotTheRealAsianVenom | 7 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | ssjla | 5 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | Beejay Simpson | 4 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kodokushi ☁ | 1540 | 0.33 | 37 min |
| #2 | MightyBrighty | 455 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #3 | Forman ツ | 310 | 0.22 | 7 min |
| #4 | unc | 265 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #5 | NotTheRealAsianVenom | 246 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BigT | +2.23 | 56 | 55 |
| #2 | Forman ツ | +1.75 | 79 | 57 |
| #3 | unc | +1.30 | 60 | 64 |
| #4 | MightyBrighty | +0.59 | 72 | 57 |
| #5 | ssjla | +0.19 | 56 | 66 |





