








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 516 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 191 matches | ||
| Premier | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 44 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3061 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,154 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1472 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1553 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1178 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 951 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,026,751 of utility $312 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 268 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | frehulferd | 56% | 135 |
| #2 | Sammy6k | 55% | 224 |
| #3 | LaFondel | 54% | 267 |
| #4 | fiveotwo | 53% | 287 |
| #5 | NoTomorrowCarl | 53% | 156 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | LaFondel | 54% | 267 |
| #4 | fiveotwo | 53% | 287 |
| #5 | NoTomorrowCarl | 53% | 156 |
| #6 | alphamonkay | 50% | 36 |
| #7 | Aeruke | 29% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fiveotwo | 2 | 0.0003 |
| #2 | Sammy6k | 2 | 0.0004 |
| #3 | frehulferd | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | LaFondel | 1 | 0.0002 |
| #5 | NoTomorrowCarl | 1 | 0.0003 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fiveotwo | 628 | 0.10 | 18 min |
| #2 | LaFondel | 597 | 0.10 | 16 min |
| #3 | Sammy6k | 361 | 0.07 | 11 min |
| #4 | NoTomorrowCarl | 349 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #5 | frehulferd | 302 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sammy6k | +2.23 | 85 | 70 |
| #2 | fiveotwo | +1.42 | 90 | 69 |
| #3 | Haaska | -0.15 | 82 | 50 |
| #4 | alphamonkay | -0.52 | 59 | 49 |
| #5 | frehulferd | -0.54 | 53 | 62 |





