








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 525 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 201 matches | ||
| Premier | 130 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 83 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4065 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,468 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5697 | 29% |
| Smokes | 4934 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 4784 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 4053 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,075,889 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 85 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dFree | 55% | 181 |
| #2 | Sammy6k | 54% | 278 |
| #3 | Haaska | 54% | 267 |
| #4 | NoTomorrowCarl | 52% | 183 |
| #5 | fiveotwo | 52% | 384 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Haaska | 54% | 267 |
| #4 | NoTomorrowCarl | 52% | 183 |
| #5 | fiveotwo | 52% | 384 |
| #6 | alphamonkay | 48% | 27 |
| #7 | Aeruke | 41% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sammy6k | 6 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | fiveotwo | 3 | 0.0004 |
| #3 | Haaska | 3 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | NoTomorrowCarl | 2 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | dFree | 2 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fiveotwo | 894 | 0.11 | 26 min |
| #2 | Haaska | 562 | 0.10 | 19 min |
| #3 | Sammy6k | 482 | 0.08 | 15 min |
| #4 | dFree | 407 | 0.10 | 11 min |
| #5 | NoTomorrowCarl | 394 | 0.09 | 11 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sammy6k | +2.13 | 80 | 67 |
| #2 | fiveotwo | +1.28 | 87 | 67 |
| #3 | Haaska | -0.16 | 76 | 45 |
| #4 | LaFondel | -0.43 | 57 | 72 |
| #5 | alphamonkay | -0.58 | 58 | 42 |





