








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 84 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
275 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,548 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 785 | 31% |
| Smokes | 584 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 719 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 460 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $218,593 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 23 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ƬΣD | 46% | 13 |
| #2 | Nikzz | 46% | 37 |
| #3 | HeyImGary | 44% | 39 |
| #4 | Lambda | 43% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ƬΣD | 46% | 13 |
| #2 | Nikzz | 46% | 37 |
| #3 | HeyImGary | 44% | 39 |
| #4 | Lambda | 43% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lambda | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | Nikzz | 2 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | HeyImGary | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lambda | 247 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #2 | Nikzz | 89 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #3 | HeyImGary | 64 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | ƬΣD | 20 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lambda | +4.14 | 83 | 69 |
| #2 | Nikzz | +1.77 | 74 | 73 |
| #3 | ƬΣD | -0.71 | 43 | 39 |
| #4 | HeyImGary | -2.69 | 42 | 65 |
| #5 | beddyb | -4.60 | 36 | 62 |





