








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 677 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 235 matches | ||
| Premier | 148 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3470 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,254 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6127 | 28% |
| Smokes | 4909 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 6381 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 4837 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,057,772 of utility $174 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 125 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #15 | MoMo | 49% | 102 |
| #16 | Zailito | 45% | 143 |
| #17 | Niner | 44% | 57 |
| #18 | Noizz | 44% | 39 |
| #19 | Hanna | 39% | 125 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Crazy Brazy | 10 | 0.0075 |
| #2 | MoMo | 6 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | Zailito | 5 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | Pete.R | 3 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | Hanna | 2 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ratze pistolero ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | 331 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #2 | Zailito | 299 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| #3 | Crazy Brazy | 249 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #4 | ckay | 248 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #5 | Pete.R | 182 | 0.18 | 5 min |





