








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 293 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 192 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Premier | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3393 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,413 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2987 | 32% |
| Smokes | 2156 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2052 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2218 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,193,340 of utility $167 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 98 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Na1tsa high af | 71% | 24 |
| #2 | crazy Horst | 65% | 34 |
| #3 | Bast021 | 61% | 33 |
| #4 | Your Mama is no Bäcker | 60% | 68 |
| #5 | Humpti | 59% | 88 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Humpti | 6 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | Aresino | 5 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | WaliD | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | 2man | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | Your Mama is no Bäcker | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Humpti | 361 | 0.19 | 12 min |
| #2 | 2man | 326 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| #3 | Aresino | 320 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #4 | Rainer Zufall | 122 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #5 | Your Mama is no Bäcker | 88 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aresino | +2.07 | 78 | 72 |
| #2 | Humpti | +2.00 | 79 | 73 |
| #3 | crazy Horst | +1.89 | 68 | 66 |
| #4 | Your Mama is no Bäcker | +1.01 | 77 | 65 |
| #5 | Miisch | +0.56 | 72 | 61 |





