










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 222 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 71 matches | ||
| Premier | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1878 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,210 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 859 | 20% |
| Smokes | 875 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1302 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1174 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $407,766 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 39 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Your Mama is no Bäcker | 59% | 17 |
| #2 | Humpti | 58% | 24 |
| #3 | Philipp | 52% | 27 |
| #4 | crazy Horst | 50% | 8 |
| #5 | bob | 45% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | 2man | 37% | 62 |
| #10 | Miisch | 35% | 51 |
| #11 | Rainer Zufall | 30% | 10 |
| #12 | Djoks | 29% | 28 |
| #13 | Whigga | 25% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Miisch | 5 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | Djoks | 5 | 0.0084 |
| #3 | 2man | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Philipp | 2 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | Humpti | 2 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 2man | 258 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #2 | Aresino | 186 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #3 | Miisch | 130 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #4 | adamSIN | 121 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #5 | Whigga | 69 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WaliD | +2.42 | 85 | 56 |
| #2 | Humpti | +1.81 | 84 | 70 |
| #3 | Aresino | +1.51 | 78 | 69 |
| #4 | Philipp | +1.13 | 78 | 46 |
| #5 | Your Mama is no Bäcker | +1.08 | 76 | 60 |





