








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 85 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 124 matches | ||
| Faceit | 57 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2181 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,410 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1509 | 18% |
| Smokes | 2439 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2223 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2239 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $705,789 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 303 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Moe Lester | 59% | 44 |
| #8 | WaliD | 59% | 17 |
| #9 | RAMBAZAMBA | 48% | 33 |
| #10 | Bast021 | 43% | 21 |
| #11 | GOLDEN BOY | 33% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AKITTY | 3 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | Humpti | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | 2man | 2 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | Miisch | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | Aresino | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Humpti | 177 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #2 | Moe Lester | 172 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #3 | Aresino | 124 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #4 | Miisch | 121 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | 2man | 105 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Humpti | +3.71 | 81 | 73 |
| #2 | Moe Lester | +2.71 | 64 | 71 |
| #3 | Aresino | +2.02 | 77 | 72 |
| #4 | RAMBAZAMBA | +1.23 | 74 | 60 |
| #5 | WaliD | +0.69 | 77 | 51 |





