








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 421 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 60 matches | ||
| Esplay | 27 matches | 1,688 | |
| Faceit | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2137 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,490 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2008 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1798 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1245 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1439 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $760,956 of utility $188 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 158 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xeetstar | 61% | 18 |
| #2 | KarlAlfred | 50% | 12 |
| #3 | GrumpyDylf | 43% | 40 |
| #4 | Lofalk | 41% | 41 |
| #5 | Conny Mahogny | 41% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | KarlAlfred | 50% | 12 |
| #3 | GrumpyDylf | 43% | 40 |
| #4 | Lofalk | 41% | 41 |
| #5 | Conny Mahogny | 41% | 17 |
| #6 | R48i | 38% | 111 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | R48i | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | GrumpyDylf | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lofalk | 63 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #2 | xeetstar | 51 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #3 | KarlAlfred | 51 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #4 | GrumpyDylf | 49 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | Conny Mahogny | 41 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KarlAlfred | +2.81 | 62 | 73 |
| #2 | tzaa | +1.99 | 62 | 65 |
| #3 | xeetstar | +0.19 | 74 | 69 |
| #4 | Lofalk | -0.79 | 24 | 37 |
| #5 | Conny Mahogny | -2.13 | 36 | 37 |





