








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 29 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 43 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
678 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,066 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 333 | 16% |
| Smokes | 707 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 464 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 562 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $281,051 of utility $162 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 125 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | bwy | 57% | 37 |
| #4 | Sayton | 50% | 18 |
| #5 | Lofalk | 50% | 46 |
| #6 | tzaa | 41% | 17 |
| #7 | R48i | 30% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lofalk | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | bwy | 2 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | GrumpyDylf | 1 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lofalk | 97 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #2 | tzaa | 54 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #3 | bwy | 51 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | Sayton | 29 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | GrumpyDylf | 16 | 0.05 | 1 min |





