








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 626 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 96 matches | ||
| Wingman | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 47 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3162 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,176 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2504 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3082 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2163 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2427 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $940,297 of utility $146 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 206 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kenny Hess | 61% | 96 |
| #2 | V1peR | 61% | 18 |
| #3 | moki | 56% | 185 |
| #4 | taek | 54% | 260 |
| #5 | meow | 53% | 99 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kenny Hess | 61% | 96 |
| #2 | V1peR | 61% | 18 |
| #3 | moki | 56% | 185 |
| #4 | taek | 54% | 260 |
| #5 | meow | 53% | 99 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | moki | 11 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | taek | 5 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | meow | 5 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | Kenny Hess | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | V1peR | 3 | 0.0084 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | taek | 646 | 0.13 | 19 min |
| #2 | moki | 495 | 0.13 | 13 min |
| #3 | Kenny Hess | 200 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #4 | meow | 97 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | V1peR | 79 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | V1peR | +3.50 | 85 | 70 |
| #2 | taek | +1.90 | 91 | 62 |
| #3 | Echo! | +1.58 | 82 | 61 |
| #4 | moki | +0.81 | 72 | 66 |
| #5 | meow | -0.71 | 64 | 34 |





